W T F !!!/..
September 16, 2007
Fuck, I feel like crap. Yesterday I found out that my best friend Stella may leave the country in February. OMG. What a faken shock!! and Who the Fuck Am I gana talk? Who the fuck am I gana go shoppin with? Who the fuck is gana give me all these great advices... FUCk...FUck..Fuck... Wow... I knew she MAY have to leave the country but like allways I faken ignored that and I decided just to not think about it But now it just sucks so badly. I feel like Ill lose so much if she goes there.. I mean come on, We've been best friends since we came to this country. I know her like my own pocket in my ripd jeans and she knows me better than anyone else. When she told me "February" I wuz like "what?" Time goes so fast that you cant even look back and she tells me, she may leave in like few months. Grrrr..Fck this whole thing. Gosh. and if she go, What the fuck im suppose to do? Jus look for a new friend , like that is so easy in this stupid ass country, full of morons and hatred bitches......
Well i guess im really thinkin bout this, cuz of what had happend today. It jus felt realli wierd, like we dont connect anymore. I feel like shes jus gettin distance from me and i dont think its cuz we dont spend enough time together. Fucken on the fone almost everyday, askin her wuz up and me tellin her all my faken day. I jus dont get it , how after all ths time she cnt even tell me in my face how she feels.. Like today, she wuz like all quiet, pretendin like everything is perfect, and then when i left i had to text her and confrot her that The Whole Day With Her Wuz Jus So Faken Wierd, Like Never Before, so then she tells me its all my fault and im actin like some stupid Heidi from the tv show. and here i am, thinkin WTF. Im trin so hard not only to please her, but also my annyin bf. hahaha... I mean.. i wana spend as much time with her as i can, but with our busy schedules its hard to have that. School, work, Homeworks, Other shit, Anywywaz....... So i do try, I try to satuisfy that bitch as much as i Can, ANd HELL YEA,, I DO it cuz I wana, I do it - cuz i want this friendship and i want it to be the greatest one ever, and DNT YOU faken think that i do it, cuz i have to.......or some shit like that........NO. i do it cuz i faked it up once n i dont wana do it again. Lmao. I sed staisfy b4, i dnt know what it is that im tryin to do, but i know one thing...... i love her so much and i jus want her to be hapy. and I want her to say it in my face that she hates my bf and she thinks hes so ugly and hes not the one for me and i want her to say, LISTEN if hes pickin u up, call him and tell him to cum later, mayb bout 7. or 8 if u can stay till that late so we can do sum stuff.. BUt she dsnt. She jus suck it up inside and she pretends like everryting is ok even thou is not... Grrrrrrrrrrrr...Anywywaz... after all this krazy shit that i jus wrote, which didn make sense at all.. i jus wana say... that i love her a lot... i mean i would sacrifice my life... lol (cryin, lol) i think she would use it good...lmao...... hahahah...yea.....
Fuck, I feel like crap. Yesterday I found out that my best friend Stella may leave the country in February. OMG. What a faken shock!! and Who the Fuck Am I gana talk? Who the fuck am I gana go shoppin with? Who the fuck is gana give me all these great advices... FUCk...FUck..Fuck... Wow... I knew she MAY have to leave the country but like allways I faken ignored that and I decided just to not think about it But now it just sucks so badly. I feel like Ill lose so much if she goes there.. I mean come on, We've been best friends since we came to this country. I know her like my own pocket in my ripd jeans and she knows me better than anyone else. When she told me "February" I wuz like "what?" Time goes so fast that you cant even look back and she tells me, she may leave in like few months. Grrrr..Fck this whole thing. Gosh. and if she go, What the fuck im suppose to do? Jus look for a new friend , like that is so easy in this stupid ass country, full of morons and hatred bitches......
Well i guess im really thinkin bout this, cuz of what had happend today. It jus felt realli wierd, like we dont connect anymore. I feel like shes jus gettin distance from me and i dont think its cuz we dont spend enough time together. Fucken on the fone almost everyday, askin her wuz up and me tellin her all my faken day. I jus dont get it , how after all ths time she cnt even tell me in my face how she feels.. Like today, she wuz like all quiet, pretendin like everything is perfect, and then when i left i had to text her and confrot her that The Whole Day With Her Wuz Jus So Faken Wierd, Like Never Before, so then she tells me its all my fault and im actin like some stupid Heidi from the tv show. and here i am, thinkin WTF. Im trin so hard not only to please her, but also my annyin bf. hahaha... I mean.. i wana spend as much time with her as i can, but with our busy schedules its hard to have that. School, work, Homeworks, Other shit, Anywywaz....... So i do try, I try to satuisfy that bitch as much as i Can, ANd HELL YEA,, I DO it cuz I wana, I do it - cuz i want this friendship and i want it to be the greatest one ever, and DNT YOU faken think that i do it, cuz i have to.......or some shit like that........NO. i do it cuz i faked it up once n i dont wana do it again. Lmao. I sed staisfy b4, i dnt know what it is that im tryin to do, but i know one thing...... i love her so much and i jus want her to be hapy. and I want her to say it in my face that she hates my bf and she thinks hes so ugly and hes not the one for me and i want her to say, LISTEN if hes pickin u up, call him and tell him to cum later, mayb bout 7. or 8 if u can stay till that late so we can do sum stuff.. BUt she dsnt. She jus suck it up inside and she pretends like everryting is ok even thou is not... Grrrrrrrrrrrr...Anywywaz... after all this krazy shit that i jus wrote, which didn make sense at all.. i jus wana say... that i love her a lot... i mean i would sacrifice my life... lol (cryin, lol) i think she would use it good...lmao...... hahahah...yea.....
posted by barbiedollka86 at 11:14 PM
2 Comments:
hmm przecztalam po czesci twoja notke .. nie zrozumialam dokladnie wszystkiego bo taka dobra w ang to ja nie jestem :P ale z tego co wiem to Stelka wyjezdza ;/ twoja przyjaciółka .. Musi to byc szok dla ciebie. Ja nie wiem co bym zrobila gdyby moja bliska kolezanka opuscila to miasto ;/ eh
ale pamietaj ze jesli bedziesz miala tylko ochote i czas to zawsze mozesz napisac do mnie
e-maila :)a ze Stelka wiem ze i tak napewno nie stracisz kontaktu .. choc wiadomo ze to juz nie bedzie to samo jak bylo do tej pory ..
omg.. lemme go to the bathroom and wash my salty face....[u kknow] omgg.. noo i read this a bit late.. but u know.. perfect time.. and this is why
i am sorry for that day.. maybe i wasn't acting like myself because i saw like everything around me was werid and nothing could catch my pleasure.. and i know that since then we had a great time. i mean it was one dumb day in years.. and I know the leaving part does not only hurt you but me.. and it's not hurting me personally. but it hurts cuz im hurting u.. hmm i dunno fi u got it.. but anyways................. jee i wish i knew polish and udnerstood this comment above me........ Please dont cry cuz of me... and we are trying to do everything so i can stay.. even me and mom .... and do everything possible.. but if if.. there is a chance if me leaving........... I SWARE TO GOD.. I promisee on my life that IA M GOING TO COME BACK.. AND THAT IS TRUE...
we have been more than best friends... u were on my side when i was crying.. u were there to listen to my crapy stories abt bf. or laugh our asses off when we get drunk or act foolish in the street. Wew saw each other growing... and today at the 16th b-day that i went.. jesus christ.. plis shoot me.. soo yeah there were two girls that gave the b-day girl speeches abt their friendship... and it was so nice.. that i imagined myself giving a speech to u.. and i know and i bet money that NOBODY is this world will care, know and appreciate more then i do as a best friend... LOVE U
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