if not one thing, than the other

karma is a bitch, hell yea.. thats my "saynig:" for today. gosh... im startin to believe that everything that i did wrong in my life now is catchin up with me and payin me back big timez... eh... waiste of time to talk about it, but i can tell u one thing........ it dsnt feel so good when karma is catchin up with you....
hmmm... i dnt knw what to say... but if nnot one thing is happenin in my life than the other it is... gosh... faken problems all the time... im so fed up with all this shit........ i jus want to relax, close my eyes and jus stay in a quiet zone, far from everyone and everything. im tired of dealin with everyone's shit. If its not my borther causin problems, then its king drama, my bopyfirned, IF not that...then i have to take care of my parents and deal with their stuff and if NOT THAT... then my BFF Stella...and IF NOT THAT... then jus in general problems......... Gosh......seriously i just wana go away, throw my cell phone away, burn my computer and jus sit on the beach and drink martini .... hehehehehehehe i dnt knw.. theres so much inside of me right now.. but it wuld take me this whole nite to write half of it... Im mad, frustarted, confused.... i dont know what to do anymore...
all im thinkin about is that freaken vacation in vegas.. gosh.. i wana go there more than anything else.. i wana get on that plain and fly away from ny. i wana spend there sumtime.. meet new ppl and see how diffent is vegas than new york... omg... i cnt waite for it........its like the dream comes tru...

Ok... so here is this one thing that totally threw me off today... About 4 oclock i got a message from my boyfriend where do i work... I figure he came to the city to see me and chill a bit. Oh that got me so happy, cuz I really thought I wont see him till he fixes his car. So we met up and we decided to get something to eat at Fridays. We got our table, sat down and here it is where everything went off.. I told my boyfriend to sit next to me so i could hug him and kiss him. ehehhee.. and 2 minutes later i see tears in his eyes !!!!! and I kinda panicked. I had like million thoughts on my mind. U know sometimes i cry because i feel down, or im jus realli sad cuz of whats been happenin to me around... but HE is a guy. He should be stronger about stuff like that and even if go gets his emotional moments like I do, he shouldnt b ashame to say "im feelin sad". So when i see him tearing, I get so worry that i jus ask him "are you cryin?, whats wrong? did something happen?" AND HE GETS SO PISSED AT ME !!!. Gosh... Hr gives me so much shit for sayin that, that I actully feel quilty and Im tryint to think WTF did i do wrong?!! ANd then he says to me" you always DO this. You always say that!" and i wuz jus sittin next to that nigga, thinkin SAY what? Do what? Gosh... Anywyaz.. i drop the topic. I tried to talk about my day and all the stupid stuff that happened so he can jus take his mind off THAT THINGS THAT I DO AND SAY TO HIM... buhahahaha.. and even though i show him that i dnt think about his breakdown and i try to stay away from the topic, it still bothers me inside.. I jus keep thinkin WTF is wrong with him... AND its soooooooo sad that he cant just tell me. When he walks me to the train, he tells me to NOT to mention his breakdown on the phone, cuz he will talk to me about that when he see me. Eh........ SOUNDS like something realli important..... but if he cant even talk to me over the fone or sum shit like that... that he feelin sad/depressed or at least mention to me that he did somehting and he wana talk to me about it... ehhhhhh PLIZ.. what kind of a boyfriend he is? AFter all this time he cant even tell me what its bothering him... Well thats not the end of the story. I called him bout 10, jus to see if hes ok and i wnated him to tell me why he cried at the restaurant.... but he jus kept sayiun "respect my wishes" RESPECT >>WHAT????? nigga i aint askin you to faken go to alaska and leave there for 2 years...all im aksin u is to come clean and explain why u were cryin...........!!!!!!!! buhahahhaa...w.e. I guess we'll have to waite to see whats ganna happen next !!!!! Stay with Kasia and her excitment life for more information ... buahhahahaha