;)))) 

CutE 

Me n Stelka;) 

"No one can go back and make a brand new start... Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending" I belive that this quote its pretty clear for everyone and we all understand the main idea of it. Yeah in our words mean that you cant go back in time and change the past. There's no such a things as a time machine. Shit... Sometimes life is taugh and gives us hard times. Sometimes people make wrong decisions and later on there are painful consequences. We wish to go back in time and make the right choices, but we CAN't. How many times YOU wished to go back in time? Did YOU think about consequences during the time you made the wrong choice? I bet there's few of us that wish to change the past.... and there's more of us that didnt think of the consequences. Well I'm not here to teach anyone lesson or something. I'm not here to write an essay about how we can't go back in time and change the past. Nah. neither i aint gana talk how to make a better ending... Nah...
People say it's your life, and you think "Hell yeah, it is my life, but I'm here__ WIT you__ NEXT to you__ to let you kno that I need you in my life, That i want to learn some lesson from you, that I want you to be next to me and help me make the right decisions" DONT say it's my life and then turn your back on me.. Nah Nah.. that aint cool. Whers Friendship? Trust? Honor? Respect? Amdiriation?
Hell... You may think I anit noone to talk about trust, honor or respect.. cuz Im the one that blew that night.. but shit I aint scared of sayin whats on my mind in front of everyone. Yeah I do admit it that I made a wrong decision about not telling you everything... But you kno what? Sometimes you like someone so much that you afraid that if you tell them something that they DONT really want to hear THEY'R gana get mad at you and they wont speak to you. Maybe that's a bad thing ---> Hiding the truth cuz you dont want to hurt other person. Shit... maybe sometimes you should just say it whats on your mind and dont even Look at the others.. Shyt.. is it easier this way? Yeah. You tell me... Is it??? If yeah, then hell wit me, screw me, forget me, earse me, push me away, kill me, make me feel miserable, breake our friendship up. Just fuck it and go away. Do i want this? NO !!! HELL NO !!!. You see... Im not perfect, Nones perfect. I'm sayin I wana change, but I ain't doin shit in this direction. I may be a poser, I may be a loser, I may be a lair, I may be NOBODY for you right now.. but shyt... I made the wrong choice, and if you ask me IF I want to go back in time and change something I may say NO. WHY? hmm.. cuz I learn from my mistakes. I take the consequences. It may be painful, hard and make me feel like shit... but thats how it is. You do something and you learn your lesson. Lesson of your life. Would I do same thing in the future? I belive NO. Why? I guess I'd choose to tell the truth. I would chose to be an __A D U L T__ Think for a moment. I still act like a kid. I always had everything that I wanted and I still have it. That night when we were sitting at your friend's house, eating food and everyone was just chillin I felt so little, I felt so childlish. Shit.. It got to me that Im not even close to be as mature as you or your friends. I act like a little girl, not like a grown up. Shit..I cant change the past, but I can make a brand new ending. I can make better future. No matter what I want you to be in my life, cuz you are my friend and the only reason I didnt say much was cuz i Didnt want to hurt ya... but I guess it went the other way...

so many questions? so many changes? no answers... no solution...

hey people. yes i didnt write anything for a long time, but i know that some people still check my blog, so im just writing here for you people and for myself. I have this thing on my mind and i cant take it no more. i need to write stuff down or something, cuz too many thoughts, too many questions and no answers. Yeah, im tryin to figure it out my life and whats goin on in it. I wana chose the right way and do the right things, but I dont know whats right and whats wrong. I feel like I dont wana hurt people feelings, thats why Im all over places, chillin wit people and tryin to say nice things to them even thou sometimes i Dont Even Mean It. Yes, Thats a bad thing, i cant help it. Im too scared that If i say Something mean they goin to turn their backs againt me. I dont need that. Too much shit in my life already happened and I dont Need No More People to Be Agaisnt Me. I know that sometimes I shouldnt care about their feelings, but you know they are still people. Well... Look At Some things and What you See ?? You See Jessica Simpson being gorgeous, rich with great family. She has everything expect a loving husband, someone who would stand next to her and protect her. Yes. i Guess women need these things the most, Love n protection. Well.. she has everything but nuttin at the same time. Feelin kinda sorry? No. Shes goin to be ok, cuz shes famous and she got all these people after her. But what about other stuff??? Your goin to Sturbucks to get your favorite drink, and then when you have it- you take another look and you are like ""hell... i dont want to drink this, i have enough of it". And then you drink it cuz you paid for it, but you dont feel the pleasure of the drink, you dont enjoy the taste of it in your mouth. Yes... Same wit the desire. You want something so badly and when you dont get it, later on wit the time you givin up and you dont feel same way about it. Its like wanting to kiss the hottes boy in school,.. and when you're havin him next to you on the bed.. you dont feel a thing. You want to babysitt the cutest and funniest little girl in Long Beach and when you are with her - you fallin alsleep. Life is weird and the same time so diffrent every time you take a look at it. One day you're happy and you say "life is beautifull" but next thing you know its the next day when your sayin "life is so hard, so difficult, so weird... and so bad" Well... its the world, the things that happenin. Yes. i Dont kno what Im talkin about it. Maybe Its too crazy to understand, but I tried to write my thoughts. They got messed up tho, but i still feel the same way. Its like gettin someone the feelin they loved but next thing you know is-- you're walkin away and sayin to yoursefl..."do i really feel that way? shouldve i say "i love you" if i dont kno the real feelin of it."" Its like you want to buy this new pants from macys, and you go there everyweek to check out on them and make sure they still there... and wit the time passing by, you realize that you really dont need them. You changed your whole view about that pants. You think they no worthy nimore. Time will heal all the pain inside the human being, will kill the biggest fear and the strongest feelings. Time will help you get up and enjoy life again. Time will help you to forget stuff and people. Time will help you to reborn. Yes... Now thers another question comin up from this words... wat the fuck is time anyways??? Is that important to look at the clock to check the time?? Do we need the hours of day in our lifes?? How can you cheat time ?? ... Maybe some day we'R goin to become SomEoNe IN thIS WorlD, bUt fOr now... LEt uS stRuggLe WIt OUr LittLe pRobLemS. LEt Us StAY InsIde ThIs TeEn WOrLd. LEt Us Be WHatEVa We WanA bE fOr Dis MoMent, WHen thE rIght TIme WIll cOme We'LL fINd OUrSelVes ANd Our DestiNaTion... We'LL fiNd thE pUrPoSe Of Our LIvEs And All wE nEeD iS tHe tIme TO pAss By, SloWlY, GivIn Us The CHanCe oF bEIn YoUth.